What I hate about you

I've been accused of being slightly sociopathic before. This is not to say that I don't love my fellow man (or woman, as the case may be), but I must admit that there is a fair number of humans that just bug the live'n crap out of me. For some reason I enjoy being out in public places and picking out people that I find particularily annoying. So with that in mind I decided to put the following list together - it's not a complete and comprehensive list - but it's a good sampling.

I hate you if...

You are wearing baseball cap in any way other than the bill pointing absolutely straight forward. Crooked, sideways, pointing straight up...uhh "no". Backwards is "okay", especially if you are working, but if you are out on the town with a buddy and you both have your hats on backwards - I hate you.

It's rush hour, the freeway is in gridlock, but for some reason you feel the need to weave in out of lanes trying to gain 5 car lengths on everyone else, you never signal and you are talking on the phone - I hate you.

I'm at the grocery store, you are in front of me in line, you feel the need to question the price of asparagas, then you pay with a check - I hate you.

I'm in my car in a parking spot close to the store entrance, you are sitting in your car waiting to see if I am leaving so you can take my spot. You are bugging me - and I hate you.

I'm using a public urinal, you insist on using the one next to me even though there are several others that are empty, you fart - I hate you.

I can't tell if you are wearing shorts or really short pants and your boxers are hanging out - I hate you.

Your Honda Civic sounds like a giant bumble bee (and your hat is on crooked and you have those pants/shorts things on) - I hate you.

You have a "Cowboy/Cowgirl Up!" or one of those "Peeing on..." stickers on your car - I hate you.

You are bald and you are wearing a sunvisor - I hate you.

You wear your cell phone bluetooth thing in your ear where ever you go - you look like the communications officer on Star Trek and you look like an idiot...and I hate you.

You are in front of me at the drive thru at McDonalds, you order a quarter pounder with specific instructions to the pimple faced 16 yearold working there to add "fresh lettuce" and cook it medium well - I loathe you....

I could go on and on...and probably will.