THE Talk

I can't remember exactly how the subject came up but Jake (my 9 year old son) said to me last night something to the affect of "Dad, if you had never met mom, Trevor and me would still have been born right?". I was afraid where this was going but I replied "No. Mom and I made you and Trevor." Jake thought about this and then he said "But what if mom had married someone else - Trevor and me would have still been born right?" (This got Trevor's attention). I said (trying to sound all philosophical) "Without me, there would be no You. You are made of parts of both me and your mom. If mom had a different husband they would have made different kids - you and Trev would not have been born". This, of course, led to "the question"…Jake asked "So how did you make us?". But before I could start to work on forming the best response in my head, my 7 year old son Trevor piped in and said "I know! It was sex!". With my best wild eyed Gary Coleman look (what you talk'n 'bout Willis!) I said "What!". I then quickly recovered and said "Um, well…yeah…" and Jake immediately covered his face and moaned "Ohhh gaaawd!....".

I was then prepared (kind of) to launch into my sex education speech that I have been preparing since the boys were about 3, but suddenly Trevor said "Oh look dad, "The Biggest Loser" is on - can we watch that! (For some odd reason they both like that show) and I said "Uh, yeah - okay!".

Whew! Saved by grotesquely fat people…but not for long I'm sure.