The Two Sides of Christmas

When it comes to decorating for Christmas it's a little like Martha Stewart vs Larry the Cable Guy at the Hughes household. Suzie (my dear wife) prefers a nice clean look - all white bulbs on the tree and the ornaments get an annual review to see if they are still worthy of going on the tree. She does a nice job of creating "tasteful" Christmas themed displays that look like they came right out of the Martha Stewart catalog (see pictures). I would describe her Christmas decorating style as "Tastefully Minimalist".

My decorating style on the other hand could be described as "Trailer Park Chic". I'm in charge of the outside decorating, which currently features several "inflatables". I like these blow up things because 1) They are super easy to set up and 2) I don't have to get up on the roof (I hate heights). When selecting inflatables I am drawn towards ones that just scream "tacky". Right now we have a "SpongeBob Square Pants", a "Snowman" and a "Santa in Sleigh, being pulled by two Pink Flamingos". The latter is a new addition this year. I didn't tell Suzie I got it and I set it up prior to her getting home from work. When she walked in the house I said "What do you think of the new display?" and her one word response was a decidedly disapproving "Nice...".

The other thing I do is a "Christmas Village". This miniature Christmas town began well over a decade ago as 3-4 buildings on a 2' x 2' board and has now grown to cover a 4' x 8' sheet of plywood with 9-10 buildings, a train set, a mountain, a flying Santa, lighted trees, bumper cars and dozens and dozens of villagers. Now by most accounts this village is pretty darn cool, but where it veers into tackiness is that I let my boys use it as their personal play village...it's kinda like Santa's village meets Halo (an ultra violent video game). Years ago I gave up on trying to keep the boys away from it. The temptation is just too great for them so each year after I set it up I say "Okay, now PLEASE be careful and don't break anything" and as soon as I walk away and am out of their view I hear the familiar cry of "Christmas Train of Death!!" and the villagers are randomly selected for sacrifice. At some point invaders from another galaxy or pirate ship or from the dark side of town start showing up in the village. The kindly residents of the village do not stand a chance against these predators and everyday brings new carnage.

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Now I am not a particularly religious person (that might be a bit of an understatement) but this morning I think I witnessed something akin to divine intervention. After Suzie had left for work I was sitting in our living room sipping a cup of coffee. I was enjoying the silence before our boys woke up all rested and ready to re-attack the village. As I was looking out our front window at the deflated inflatables (they are on a timer - the snowman looks really cool when it deflates) I noticed that a dog that belongs to one of our neighbors (a cantankerous German Shepard named Emma) was trotting happily around our yard with a stuffed snowman in her mouth - a snowman from a display that Suzie had so artfully put outside on a small table on our front door stoop.

Emma (the dog) first showed up at our house a couple of years ago after Suzie's grandmother "Emma" had passed away....Emma (the Grandma) was a sweet but cantankerous old gal...Emma lived in a trailer...Emma would love Santa and his Pink Flamingos...There's little doubt in my mind that if Emma could somehow come back to earth - she would come back as a cantankerous snowman stealing German Shepard.